I sincerely believed that I would do so much before I let you go;

That I would do all these crazy ass things instead

But then I let your heart

Slip from my hand

Now we’re together again and I’m standing between Heaven and Hell holding

Your head, wondering

What will hurt more -

Walking away a second time or staying

In your arms

What if what’s best for me isn’t you?

What if I’m just bored?

I want you; I want us to stay in this comfort

But my needs are different and they deserve to be met

Just like you deserve a person free of any confusion

I want more time with you, but I need more time for myself

What if I’m worried that you’ll unknowingly

Cause me to drown?

I’ve waited, we’ve tried, and I’ve changed

For better or worse, I have changed

It is cruel to have you change further than you have

Already for me

I’ve asked, and I don’t want you to mold yourself

To fit my expectations

We both deserve other people

Possibly better people

Quite frankly, knowing this makes it harder to hold on to you

Do I linger or leave?

I thought loving somebody meant choosing to stay

So if I go, if I push you away for my well-being,

Does that mean I never loved you?

Or will it mean I landed back on my feet?

If I give up now, is that a cop-out? 

I’m not expecting you to understand how I am feeling,

As I hardly do myself
Nor do I expect you to be waiting

Later down the road

I don’t want to lose my best friend

I know you try and you care and I’m only about to break you further

But I want you to know that I won’t be coming

Out of this unscathed either

For the sake of my happiness,

Because there is no doubt that your family will see me as heartless,

Please, keep in touch

When we finally are past this

My mind makes dumb excuses,

My heart beats furiously in vain

My gut tells me the truth;

This is exactly

What I need to do