say my smile is a mask

for all things begging to be forgotten

but these things that do not want to exist 

do not know how to cease their existence

well you are right

my smile is a mask at times

when skies darken and the forecast changes

to predict precipitation that cannot happen

my smile shows what I hold in

and hold on to

my smile was prettier before

I let love run wild

and ruin my naturalness

I poured it into wounds like it would heal me

I let his hands explore my body

like his touch was okay,

like his lack of empathy could maybe save the part of myself 

that gets attached too fast to the little artifacts and gadgets

history and travel present to me

say my smile is a mask

for all things wishing not to be ignored

but these things that want to persist

do not know how to promote their persistence

so they shout angrily across a black abyss

that I sit at sometimes, when I want another reason

to foster hate and disappointment