Starve, in hopes of concentrating better,

only to find that your focus is worse than before.

The stimulants you are taking are said to help

with eating disorders and ADHD. Fixing

your ticking mind could be costly. 

(Is it worth wrecking your healthy body?)

I have a friend who shares this ridiculous dilemma. 

She will stop at nothing to achieve neurotypicality. 

That’s how much she despises the part of herself

she will never touch nor see. This girl cries her eyes dry

over what could be. Although I, too, long for my dopamine

to be regulated properly, I refuse to make my way to

the ends of this earth in search of a ‘cure’

in part because I don’t have the stamina for the side effects

that will no doubt grace us with their presence.

I do not wish to endure one more dosage of a medication meant

to save me, to aid me when

I have felt no significant change in anything.